the great northwest.

i woke up this morning to the sound of somebody playing the flute near the creek behind my sister's house. but this is what vacation is about, right? experiencing something other than everyday life. i didn't know how hard it would be to retrain myself not to flush the toilet after i pee and not to run away - screaming - from the spiders looming over my head in the kitchen. that's right. spiderS. of which there are many. and they are big.

but i am enjoying seeing how my sister lives. right now i'm watching her barista (can that be used as a verb?). very impressive. and later today we're headed to yoga. so far the trip has been interesting and eventful. and the boys. oh ladies, the boys here. beautiful. i have no words.

after she picked me up from the airport we went right to olympia, stopping first to get water from the artesian well. it's a pipe that sticks up from the ground in the middle of a parking lot. it spews water constantly from an underground spring and there's almost always people there filling up jugs of this magic, healing water to take back home. we did the same. and as we were filling up our water bottles i got hit on. the guy wasn't exactly citizen of the year, but nonetheless, it's good to get compliments like that every once and awhile. he was smitten. i almost brought him home with us.

yesterday morning we picked blueberries and blackberries from the garden in the backyard. then we made blueberry pancakes with blackberry sauce. from the blueberries and blackberries we just picked. from the garden. in the backyard. my head nearly exploded from the idea that you can grow food yourself. and then eat it! we've also eaten zuccini and tomato sandwiches - from the fruits picked minutes earlier. i've never tasted such fresh, delicious food.

then we went on a 5.5 mile hike through a wildlife refuge. we saw a squirrel. and a frog. my sister swears she saw a snake. not exactly the wildlife we had hoped to see, but it was nice to get out for some exercise. last night we went to the brotherhood (the bro ho) for drinks with a few friends, including lucas, her transgender ex-roomate and friough (pronounced "free"), her super butch lesbian co-worker. also joining us was eamon, who so closely resembles jack black (both in character and physically) it's eerie. that's one thing i've learned while here. you must must must not have a "normal" name. amy? get lost. bill? i think not. tom? you're not allowed within 1500 miles of this place, do you understand me? welcome only are hava! and tova! and meta! fortunately my name is strange enough to allow me entrance to the great northwest.

it's really beautiful here. so many trees you wouldn't believe it. and it seems like wherever we go, mount rainier is the backdrop. stunning.

oh my god! phil collins just came on the radio at the coffeehouse. take, take me home... good song, but i'm not ready to go yet.

tomorrow we get the final sister from the airport and then we take over seattle for the next 2 days. should be interesting.

horror is.

horror is... driving in the car at night, catching the silhouette of a spider directly above you, inches from your face, praying (in vain) to hit a red light to get him out, when he begins to lower himself...

a letter.

dear james mcavoy, 

take me now. 

sincerely, 

me 

thinking.

it's probably not a good idea to wake up at the exact time you should be arriving at work. 2 days after learning that you're getting written up for being late. 

it's also not a good idea to go to the gym after having 2 margaritas. and a bean burrito. 

how to.

... lose weight. eat chocolate. and crackers. and peanut butter cup ice cream. with caramel sauce. and more crackers. then go to the gym to burn a fifth of the calories you've just consumed. 

... get fired. get to work late. the day after you've been told that you're getting written up for being late. 

... piss me off. be 50 degrees outside. in june. 

... be bloated and gassy. eat a salad. with broccoli. and then pineapple. and a bean burrito.

... feel dirty. watch the bachelorette. 

must remember.

i rarely wear my glasses. so sometimes when i wear them, i forget that i'm wearing eyeglasses and not sunglasses. there are 2 major differences between my eyeglasses and my sunglasses.  the first is that my eyeglasses are clear. the second is that my sunglasses cover half of my face. i must keep these differences in mind while crying on the freeway wearing my eyeglasses. because PEOPLE CAN SEE. and they think i'm sad. 

and they're probably right. 

feeling the need to declare.

• family circus is not funny. 
  
• today i killed a centipede large enough for me to be charged with manslaughter. though i would argue it was self defense. 
  
• i finally bought my ticket to olympia! or should i say i charged it... 
  
• methinks bankruptcy is in my future.

oh so productive.

today i...

• ordered 2 new books online
• realized that it may have been a big mistake to get the internet at home, as that's all i seem to do now
• didn't eat any vegetables
  
• tried not to cry while watching the family stone at the gym
• saw a cross dresser who looks way better in a little black dress than i ever could
• laughed out loud 4 times while watching the king of queens (oh doug, you and your silly antics always get me!)
• failed to call my sister
• did not poop
• washed a mountain of dishes

my life... filled with excitement. 

yay 2008!

so it's the beginning of another new year, and i must say that i'm looking forward to the fresh start. i just read over my resolutions from last year, and i think i can confidently say that i've failed completely at the mass majority of them. but whatever. i'm making a new list this year that i can perhaps only partially fail at this time next year. okay, here they are...

1 - i will get healthy. i'm off to a good start on this one already, though the holdiays were rough. i've got myself a gym membership and i'm out of excuses. all the fixins for success.

2 - i will read at least 15 books. i'm hoping to join at least one book club to help me out with this one.

3 - i will not live in filth. i'm pretty disgusted with what my apartment looked like for most of 2007. it's time to be a grown up. and clean up.

4 - i will meet new people. to do this, i have to knock it off with the shyness. this one will be difficult.

5 - i will lessen my cursing. it's getting out of hand, and it just makes me sound ridiculous. this also means i will stop yelling at fellow drivers. they're not making me late, i'm making me late.

6 - i will be nice. this includes learning to be more patient. returning my sister's calls. supporting my friend's decisions. being less angry. being more positive.

7 - i will find a job that i have passion for. this one scares me the most. it means that i first have to find out what i have passion for, then i have to get a job doing that. i may be setting myself up for failure on this one. and there i go with the negativity again...

8 - i will cook/bake more often. and get better at it!

9 - i will pay off my credit card and build up my savings account. hopefully my future job that i have passion for pays well.

10 - i will be creative. writing, painting, etc.

hefty goals, i know. but i can do it.

i'm cool.

i had a realization today.

i was having lunch with my mom. while in the restaurant, a man came in with his daughter - a toddler - also for lunch. she was adorable. blond hair, in pigtails. a long off-white button down sweater over black leggings. she was so cute! nobody could resist smiling at her as she walked around the restaurant waiting for lunch.

the realization came as i watched her stroll past me in her uggs with her dad - casual, carefree, completely unaffected by the crowd watching her - i realized...

she is so much cooler than i will ever be.

ode to tylenol cold, multi-symptom.

how i love thee, tylenol cold!

your multi-symptom formula rocks my world. you're a pain relieving/fever reducing, nasal decongesting, cough supressing machine! to prove my love, an ode:

fever, headache, sore throat!
i was more vile than a moat.
you made me feel better,
i needn’t wear a sweater,
but i won’t stop wearing my coat.

p.s. phenylephrine hcl, will you marry me?

damn you, cher.

they're already playing christmas music on the radio. and.i.love.it.

of course, the last song i heard before coming in to work was not white christmas. no. instead it was a song by cher. and now instead of having a warm fuzzy feeling inside, i'm singing about gypsies, tramps and thieves.

it's the most wonderful time of the year.

my very own personal ad.

i’m a single, vegetarian living in milwaukee. my aspirations in life are to have a job i don’t hate and 14 cats (though i only have names for 6 so far). i’m looking for someone to do stuff with on saturday nights. i’m getting sick of hanging out with my roomate’s cat. she's got nasty breath. a few things i like...cheese, tv, drinking wine, watching movies, working out, and sleeping. everything else, i pretty much hate. other hobbies... i'm trying to learn how to cook. i've pretty much mastered beans and rice, but that's about it. what i'm looking for in a guy... a sense of humor, similar interests, no criminal background. also, no jags.

seriously, who could pass this up?

timely.

time i woke up this morning: 7:40 am
time i need to leave to get to work on time: 7:40 am

i am a grown up and professional 26 year old. i swear.

conversation with date ball.

conversation with date ball: part 1.

me: am i going to die alone?
db: i don't know!
me: am i going to die alone with 14 cats?
db: it's lookin' good!
me: am i going to die alone (a spinster) with 14 cats?
db: no question!

db, why must you taunt me so?

reminders.

roy orbison
lawrence welk
lefse
johnny cash
ray stevens
i'll be home for christmas
meet me in st.louis
old style
nascar
miss meatball
black coffee
john wayne
the smell of a charcoal grill
custard and peanuts

checkin' in.

i just ate a dove chocolate egg.
that i found on the floor.
under my desk.

i have a problem.

i'm gonna die alone.

i love this.

"so much to love, there's so much love. i watched him talking, sipping and swirling his wine, and i thought, "i want to remember this." and right then i wished for him, that he'd outlive me because i cannot imagine my life without him filling it up...he's my best choice. my best decision."

i'm so never gonna have that.

my dedication to the spinster life is unending.

mrs. demitri martin.

dear demitri,

i saw you tonight on comedy central and, i know it’s sudden and we’ve only just been introduced but, will you marry me?

i'd been seeing promos for your special all weekend long, and you seemed clever enough - but only after i saw you in action could i fully appreciate how funny you really are. and then it happened. you made a joke about farts. and i laughed at it. i laughed at a joke about farts. this may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is - you see, i don't laugh at jokes about farts. i just don't. never have. so the fact that you got me to laugh at a joke about farts, well...it's enough to make me believe that you're the one.

you are so very odd. and adorable. and your hair - it's fabulous. and your name - so worldly. and you've got crazy harmonica skills. you got me to forget that i was exercising! i forgot about the pain in my side and my struggle for breath for nearly 25 minutes as i watched you compare a cd to a breast. impressive indeed, "either way, don't scratch it." and that joke about glitter being the herpes of craft supplies - an instant classic.

you just may be the love of my life.

resolute.

it's been a while since my last post. a lot has happened but i don't feel like recapping tonight. instead, i'm going to record my new year's resolutions. i know it's january 8th and it'll be january 9th in like 7 minutes, but i don't normally do the whole new year's resolution thing, and if i'm gonna do it this year i'm going to be serious about it. and i needed a few more days to come up with my list. so here it is! my numbered list followed by a brief explanation:

1 - i resolve to be healthy. this means exercising, eating right, getting enough sleep, etc. it means i will be healthy in all aspects of the word. i'm doing pretty well so far. i've started walking/running on the treadmill again and my goal is to run a 5k with my coworkers in september. we'll see.

2 - i resolve to write/paint more. not doing as well with this one so far, but i've found that i'm happy or satisfied or whatever after i've done something creative or crafty. and i've got a set of paints and canvases in my closet that i bought 2 years ago that i've yet to use. wait, make that 3 years ago.

3 - i resolve to be financially responsible. i'm planning on moving out in april, which means some serious budgeting is in my future. but i do plan to purchase a laptop with part of my tax return. i want to pay off my credit card this year. and my car. and maybe get an ipod...

4 - i resolve to have a good time. i will stop saying, "oh, i'll do that someday, when i really start my life." because that's ridiculous. this is my life, and i need to start living it. i'm off to a good start with this one after an unplanned 2 hour drive to madison last friday just for the best chinese food. ever.

5 - i resolve to see my self worth. i will do things to make me feel good about me. i guess 1 thru 4 sort of covers this, but whatev.

so there they are. i'm reserving the right to edit these at the halfway mark through the year. or add to the list in case i rock all of these and need a new challenge.

i've never really done new year's resolutions, i think because i was afraid to fail at them. but this year i'm feeling up to the challenge, which i'm kind of taking as a good sign for the year to come.

and despite my discomfort with an odd numbered year, i'm feelin' resolute.